Episode 85: 7 Ways to Combat Loneliness
I hope you have beautiful moments of Be Still time this week and solitude. There are so many benefits to solitude and to having alone time.
Loneliness is not the same as the alone time you choose to have to fill up your bucket with self care.
Loneliness is the absence of meaningful relationships, the perceived deficits of quality social connections and feeling separate from others and the wider world. Loneliness is a state of mind that you could experience even in a room full of people that makes you feel like you are isolated, forlorn, small, rejected, not lovable, hopeless, misunderstood, in social pain…
I titled this podcast intentional with the word combat which means to do battle with or fight because like I have said before just like someone fights cancer…mental and emotional battles are just as real and fighting for emotional resiliency and mental health just as important.
I am always surprised to hear HOW MANY people say they feel lonely
The National institute of Aging the health risks of prolonged isolation are equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes day. Social isolation and loneliness have been estimated to shorten a person’s lifespan by as many as 15 years. All the studies show that the quality of our relationships make a huge difference in our life.
So how do we combat it?!
1. Value yourself enough to check in with yourself. If you feel lonely, that emotion is telling you a need is not being met. What is the best way for YOU to connect socially? How often should you do it?
2. Stop viewing yourself and a "good" person or a "bad" person.
3. Start expanding your Emotional Vocabulary. Susan David's Harvard Medical School Psychology List of Emotional Vocabulary
4. Don't let your thoughts live in your head...it's a mess up there! Get them down on paper.
Here are 4 journal exercises you can do. Learn more about them here.
What am I making this mean?
What if versus What is...
Write down your dream or desired outcome over and over again.
What is important now?
5. Act instead of waiting to be acted upon.
6. Connect in all kinds of ways...
Use technology to your advantage
Have small talk AND soul talk and set up your surroundings to allow for both
Ask interesting, open ended questions like "Old new/New old" questions.
7. Give. Give of your time, your talents, your skillset and even your money.
Every culture has certain sports or events they like to participate in, watch and cheer on. In many sports there are a limited number of players who are on the field and then certain players who are on the sidelines or on the bench. The players on the bench are the substitutes in case the coach needs to change things up or replacements if a player gets injured.
In life, we are all on a team and there is no bench. Every single person on this earth is a player out on the field. You are not the back up kicker or the understudy of the star performer. There is no bench. Every player is needed out on the field. Your personality. Your talents and skills. Your dreams and ideas. There is no substitute for you. So if you are feeling lonely…if you are feeling like you are on the sidelines watching everyone else play the game…get off the sidelines- because there is no bench!
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